Measure Yourself by Your Own Growth, Not Others’ Standards
In today’s hyper-connected world, the temptation to compare ourselves to others is relentless. Whether scrolling through social media or walking into a room full of accomplished professionals, it’s easy to feel dwarfed by the successes, appearances, and achievements of others. Yet, if we pause and reflect, it becomes clear that this comparison game is a distraction from a deeper and more fulfilling pursuit: measuring ourselves against who we were yesterday, not against who others are today.
This idea isn't new. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus reminds us, “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” His wisdom cuts straight to the heart of the issue: our value doesn’t lie in the accumulation of accolades or material gains, but in finding contentment through personal growth. The Stoics believed that we should demand progress from ourselves, a concept Epictetus drives home when he asks, “How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?”
Modern thinkers echo this same wisdom. In Atomic Habits, James Clear advises us to focus on personal improvement, urging, “You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results.” It’s a powerful reminder that growth is not instant—it’s a process of slow, steady, and consistent steps.
The truth is, comparing ourselves to others is inherently flawed because we only ever see part of their story. Social media and public life often reveal a curated image of success, but they hide the struggles, the doubts, and the failures that came before those moments of triumph. As philosopher Søren Kierkegaard pointed out, “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” The lives we envy today might be full of unseen challenges, while our own journey is brimming with untapped potential.
Take Oprah Winfrey as an example. Born into poverty and faced with numerous hardships, she could have easily been weighed down by constantly comparing herself to those who seemed more privileged or successful. Instead, she focused on her own journey. Oprah has often said she doesn't believe in competition because no one else is running her race. By staying true to her path and measuring her growth against her own potential, she transformed herself into one of the most influential people of our time.
A similar story can be told of Michael Jordan. After being cut from his high school basketball team, Jordan could have looked around at other players and felt defeated. But instead of comparing his progress to theirs, he focused on bettering himself. He once said, “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” Jordan’s relentless drive to outdo his past self, rather than compete with others, is what propelled him to greatness.
In the pursuit of personal growth, the only measure of success that matters is how far you’ve come compared to where you were. Marcus Aurelius lived by this principle. In his Meditations, he wrote: “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” As the ruler of the most powerful empire of his time, Aurelius had every reason to compare himself to others, but he chose instead to focus on improving his own character, actions, and thoughts. He knew that the key to a fulfilling life wasn’t external recognition, but internal growth.
This philosophy holds true in the business world as well. Take Warren Buffet, for example. One of the most successful investors of all time, Buffet is famous for his long-term thinking. He doesn’t measure his success by short-term market movements or by comparing his performance to others. Instead, he focuses on making decisions today that will yield lasting value. His true competition is not other investors; it’s his own past decisions. In this way, Buffet has built one of the most successful companies in history while remaining grounded in his personal values and principles.
So, how do we apply this mindset to our own lives? The first step is to cultivate gratitude and recognize our own growth. It’s easy to get caught up in what others have achieved, but the real question is: how far have you come? As Aristotle famously said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” By taking time each day to reflect on the progress you’ve made, whether in personal growth, skills, or emotional resilience, you begin to see that the only comparison worth making is with your past self.
Journaling can be a powerful tool for this. By recording your thoughts, challenges, and successes, you create a tangible record of your journey. When you feel the urge to compare yourself to others, you can look back at your own progress and remember that the true measure of success is how much you’ve grown.
Another approach is to set personal goals that align with your values and focus on incremental improvement rather than external validation. These goals should reflect what’s meaningful to you—not what society deems important. By consistently working toward these personal milestones, you remain focused on what really matters: your own evolution.
The next time you catch yourself measuring your worth against someone else’s accomplishments, remind yourself that true success is an internal journey. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” The greatest victories are not the ones that are recognized by others, but the ones that bring you closer to your own potential.
Each day is an opportunity to improve, grow, and become a better version of yourself—an opportunity far more fulfilling than any external comparison could ever provide. Keep your focus inward, and you’ll find that the real rewards lie not in how you measure up to others, but in how much progress you’ve made along your own path.